Tips, constructive criticism appreciated. May seem a little repetitive at first, as vocals are eventually intended, so please listen all the way through if you can.

http://snd.sc/zXYEZi

Listening now...

I wish there was some verb on the strings.
Really digging the drums.
The guitar or distorted synth is nice during the what i'm guessing is the vocal part.
I'd like to hear the strings drop out for a little... i'm 1:45 in and looking for a tone change up from them. I like them but they really hang there a wee long i think.
2:20 gives me a slight break from them but not REALLY.
I'm liking the drums.
The new lead at 2:45 is nice. sits in the mix well.
I'm thinking the snap on the kick is a little right right now.
The vocals will really have to do something in the end to compensate for the non changing music i think.

This is my "as it happens on the first listen to" opinion list. I hope it helps!

Thanks for the critique, that's probably the most specific and helpful reply I've ever had lol

I know what you mean about the strings, but I was having a hard time coming up with something to fill that space. Originally, the strings were only in the sections with the distorted drums, but I found that the faux guitar (Sculpture, in Logic- neat instrument!) left what felt like to much...space?....in the mix. Not a pro, so that's really the best description I can muster. Perhaps replacing the strings with a good pad in some sections with a similar chord progression?

I'm not sure what you mean about the kick? The phrase "a little right right now" is causing a kernel panic in my brain

As far as what the vocals will do, overall, I have no effin idea. I've had writers block in that area as of late.


What are your opinions regarding the overall sound/mix? I chose that track because it was all in the box stuff. All my pieces with guitar need to be re-recorded.

My take on it- I tried to bring the bass synth down in the parts with the faux guitar to try to keep it from being overwhelming. Did that work for me? I also agree with the lead at the end fitting really well. I think I spend as much time selecting a patch as I do coming up with a rhythm or melody. Sometimes, as was the case with that synth, the sound itself kind of dictates what I do with it.

Last question, I promise! Did it stick with you at all? One thing I tend to hate about industrial and similar styles is I feel like artists rarely try to make a song memorable. Maybe the 80s radio hits I grew up with rotted my brain, but I feel a hook is important.

Thanks again for your input!

"I'm not sure what you mean about the kick? The phrase "a little right right now" is causing a kernel panic in my brain "

whoops! a little BRIGHT right now! like the snap was kinda bright.

"As far as what the vocals will do, overall, I have no effin idea. I've had writers block in that area as of late."
Id recommend grabbing the mic... and start start blabbing some shit witht he song four or 5 times... write down anything that sounds decent. let it flow. who gives a fuck about what... listen back to it.. transcribe it... start pissing around with those things that came out. you'd be surprised at what happens like this.

"What are your opinions regarding the overall sound/mix? I chose that track because it was all in the box stuff. All my pieces with guitar need to be re-recorded."

I'd say pretty good man. I think the kick could have a little of the higher frequencies rounded off and those strings were mad dry (try some verb or delay or both). ultimately i think it sounded cool though.

"I tried to bring the bass synth down in the parts with the faux guitar to try to keep it from being overwhelming. Did that work for me?"

On first listen it didnt hit me as being bad. in the same situation i'd have probably done the task with a high pass filter on the guitar part to pull out some low end and put a pseudo stereo spread on it to push that out to the sides a bit and let the bass ride at a straight volume the whole song. Pushing out the guitary thing would give you more room for the bass and vocal.

"Last question, I promise! Did it stick with you at all? One thing I tend to hate about industrial and similar styles is I feel like artists rarely try to make a song memorable. Maybe the 80s radio hits I grew up with rotted my brain, but I feel a hook is important."

despite the redundancy the strings did for sure. I can hear them in my head while writing this. I think hooks are great when you can nail them. i think your vox will really seal that deal or break it in the end. going for a song with a personality thats memorable is awesome. i really feel like thats missing in a lot of stuff so its cool you are specifically shooting for that.

"Thanks again for your input!"
anytime! looking forward to hearing how it progresses!

http://snd.sc/wLsim6



Made some changes. Let me know if that's better or worse

I've put up more, for those of you lurking. Feel free to leave comments.

Another "as it happens critique". Put some recommendations of things I thought would sound cool in some places. Things I thought I would try while listening to it. Hope this helps!

!Listening:
Like the cascaded intro.
Kick punches well.
(bit reduction in a few places here on the strings?) (1:20)
Liking the bells.
Toms are nice and beefy
(maybe strings selectively gated in a few places here?) (1:49)
delays on the toms just before the break down? (2:13)
Still liking the new lead around 2:50
(maybe some triplets on the toms here?) 3:31

As for the strings being dry.

Honestly, when I first started the song maybe a week ago I kind of rolled my eyes (due to the dry strings). But then when the song kicked in I was really digging the song. I ended up listening another 3 or 4 times to get to know it.

Upon listening to it again today though, I really dig the dry strings. They have this charm that lends itself to the overall song, for me anyway. Maybe its that I was already expecting it this time, or whatever... who knows.

Anyway, good track!

Now, to some specific critiques (feel free to critique my critiques because I probably suck at them). I agree the strings are too dominant throughout the song. Drums sound awesome, I like the sounds you are using for synthesizers.

Lastly, I really need to hear it with some vocals and your re-recorded guitars. This song was obviously intended to have vocals with its structure, so without them it doesn't have the same staying power. I mention the guitars because you said you needed to add those. If so, it would definitely help the song from getting stale (but so would having the vocals).

You know, it's funny you both commented about the strings being dry because they DID have reverb on them.

If you listen to the revised version (Untitled Logic Project 3.1) you will hear some of the changes I made based on Chvad's commentary.

Also, I have other tracks up, please comment if you can. I don't know how these SC people get all these comments (often on utter shite tracks!) but not many are commenting on mine

maybe late to the party here, but..

consider sidechaining the string pad to the kick and pull it back in the mix 3db. there's a really cool synth line with some more movement you've got in there that it's smothering, and i think the string pad is really functions best as a sweetener rather than as a slow lead. i dig the sidestick/ verb snare and want it to develop. i think you have some drum patches with pitch variation which works. over all, i dig the rhythmic groove. keep it evil and hard hitting!

thats a pretty good idea. I'd like to hear it like that see what it sounds like for sure....

Added several new tracks since the OP. Check them out