I’d like to be honest about this article: it’s not fair. I have a rampantly biased opinion about the following subject and intend to express it fully here. If you happen to have a deep-rooted insecurity about your knob-tweaking skills, then I suggest you stop reading immediately. If not, then by all means, proceed…

I have always hated laptop-jockeys. “What’s a laptop-jockey,” you ask? That legion of “performers” or “bands” or “DJs” who insist that standing behind a laptop onstage has some form of entertainment value. Oh, and DJ’s? Go fuck off. I don’t care enough about you to even think about whatever value you vultures have anymore. I’m shitting on lazy musicians right now, so go piss off. Aaaaand back to the laptop-jockeys… As a fan they bore me and as a musician I find them insulting AND boring. I’ve seen hacks do it and I’ve seen well respected musicians do it and guess what? Every God-damned time IT FUCKING SUCKS. Here’s some news… your computer is BORING. You are BORING. Worst of all… YOU ARE KILLING YOUR OWN MUSIC because YOU ARE LAZY.

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